The 4th: America's Great Equalizer

Today, July 4th, will see barbecues fired up, burgers and dogs grilled in ranges from pink to charred, and families spending time genuinely enjoying each others company. Even here in Seattle, the sun is shining and the temperature is rising comfortably. We're celebrating our independence from a tyranical empire with the same general themes that we've embraced since our days as farmers and craftsmen; food, family and fun.

Of course, today we have a few improvements on the old formula. Our music is charged with over-driven guitars and bass, our families can travel formerly insurmountable distances to gather around patio furniture with cold drinks, and we have fire works. If you're reading this from a far off foreign country (Canada), let me explain what, exactly, I'm talking about.

Fire works come in two varieties; professional displays that light up the night sky in beautiful colors and patterns and the basic amateur fire works display that mostly involves several hundred dollars of loud and underwhelming pyrotechnics that are lit off by the unhinged uncle who someone once again entrusted with a lighter. Yes, the professional display is glorious and impressive, but ultimately boring and detached. The loose-cannon-uncle-display has a level of anxiety driven by the imminent danger of explosives being lit only yards away from 5 year-olds holding sparklers.

And here's the where we find the greatest improvement in our culture today campared with 230+ years ago; in the inevitable trip to the emergency room. You see, poorly planned and executed loose-cannon-uncle fire works shows usually end in at least one person visiting the emergency room of the local hospital. Usually it is a minor burn or cut, but sometimes the damage is more severe. Regardless, the modern E.R. attests to America's greatest advancement since we stopped paying taxes to Britland (hear that, Canada? We stopped paying taxes and thus earned independence); each race, creed, gender and religion is suffering alike in the emergency room every July 4th.

We are becoming a nation of acceptance, tolerance and equality. Sure, we have our problems, and we are far from perfect, but every American is equally encouraged to light a fist-sized explosive in the form of a mortar while bent over only inches away after consuming beer and under or over cooked beef. Regardless of background, it is the E.R. trip which proves that being a knuckle head is our great equalizer.

Now everybody back up, I'm going to light this one and I think it was leaking a little.