You want one.

Lamborghini Aventador J. Enjoy.

Only in Bellevue.

Thursday, March 8th, I witnessed a calamity of upper middle class proportions. In hindsight, it cracks me up, but at the time it felt very unsettling.

I was delivering a bright yellow Dodge Challenger SRT8 with six speed manual and huge subs in the trunk.

I was in Bellevue, Washington and I was slightly embarrassed by the 'look-at-me' yellow car. I rolled up on a stop light and saw something that changed my outlook.

In the center lane, to my left, sat an idling Ferrari California in black with the roof down and two very happy looking gentlemen enjoying the first genuine sunlight in a while. I rolled alongside, marveled at the fine Italian auto, and snapped a photo with my cell (I was at a stop light, while observing all known safety laws). My light turned green for a right turn, and I left the sight with regret. As I drove off, I got a call from my coworker who had been sitting in his rig to the left of the Ferrari.

It seems there was a blue Corvette behind the Ferrari.

When my light changed, the blue Corvette attempted to drive under the sleek black convertible. I missed it entirely. Apparently no one was hurt and the damage looked slight.

The good news is that I didn't wreck the customer's Challenger. The bad news is that some very wealthy humans were inconvenienced on a sunny Thursday afternoon.

And that's how babies are made.

Automobile Magazine's list: Ten cars we want back

http://www.automobilemag.com/features/news/1204_ten_cars_we_want_back/index.html

The above link leads to an interesting article from Automobile Magazine. I, for one, would rather see a classic Bronco or Jeep Comanche than a Prelude (yuck) or Riviera (ew), but overall it looks like a decent list. Which has me thinking, is new always better?

I drove a 1999 Jeep Wrangler yesterday. It had a 4.0 liter 6 cylinder engine with a 5 speed manual transmission. It was stock, including the factory issued balding street tires. I had to pull the rig onto a frame ramp, which is just barely wide enough to fit a car onto while climbing at roughly a 20 degree incline. In the newer Wrangler JK (2007-Present), this feat ends with my hind end puckered and a coworker furiously signaling to me from my blind spots. In this, the older TJ (1997-2006), I could see all four tires either directly or through my mirrors with room to spare, and neither my hind end felt clenched nor did any coworkers look like mid-'80s aerobics instructors with their arms waving and their feet kicking.

This older, smaller, less refined Wrangler was easier to drive. It was more fun. But it wasn't as unrefined or fun as my old Willys, which was too unrefined, but just the right amount of fun.

I wonder if Jeep should consider a new off-road-friendly rig that slims down and lightens up while hitting a lower price tag than the $30,000 JK (sure, you can price one online to $20k-ish, but good luck finding it on a dealer lot). Think A3 to Audi's portlier A4, or Fit to Honda's expanding Civic. Or maybe I'll just have to buy a TJ and give Chrysler none of my money. Which is fine by me.

2006 Mercedes CLS 500

I love luxury cars.

The Mercedes Benz CLS 500 is clearly a luxury car.

Prepare yourself for a shock: I love the CLS 500.

If you, like me, enjoy supple leather interiors, refined exhaust notes that hint at jet pack levels of acceleration, and driver controls that accommodate every level of urgency from comfortable cruising to frenzied flailing, I recommend you drive one.

CLS 500 grade: A

Sorry for doing this to you.

Murdered out Prius....

2001 Toyota Tacoma: A Blast From The Past

One of the best vehicles I've ever owned was a 1983 Toyota 4X4 pickup. That little monster, in white with tan interior, furiously flung mud and rocks across half of King County without a single hiccup. The only weakness in the drive train popped up on the street, where it chewed up and spit out a head gasket in sadly inglorious two wheel drive.

I've loved other Toyota trucks since, but that first one really set the mold. That's why I was so excited to deliver a Tacoma today.

This 2001 Tacoma SR5 4X4 was a 4 cylinder 5 speed with white paint and a tan interior. Sure, it was an extended cab with bucket seats and A/C, but I could see past these improvements and if I squinted hard enough catch a glimmer of the tractor-like durability of my old sweetheart.

I loved this Tacoma. It wasn't fast, it didn't corner or stop worth a damn, and it sure isn't fuel efficient. But this truck is pure, simple fun. No, I didn't get a chance to engage 4 Lo or throw rooster tails of goo across the woods, but this little truck clearly conveyed its willingness to do so while stubbornly rumbling through the afternoon traffic of Bellevue.

Yes, a 2001 Tacoma is further removed from my 1983's simplistic perfection, but the compromise of comfort over minimalism is worth the trade. The bucket seats are light years beyond a 1983 era bench in comfort, the modern HVAC is far more effective than the 'asthmatic huffing through a straw' worthlessness of the old rig, and an available extended cab is a welcome improvement to leg room.

In short, I want one.

2001 Tacoma grade: A

2001 Mercedes CLK430

This is one of my favorite body styles of all time. The gentle curve from head to tail lights, the elegant chunkiness, and the rugged visual simplicity conspire to generate a truly beautiful vehicle to my eye.

This specific specimen, this 4.3 liter V8 equipped convertible with automatic transmission and every available option should therefore have captured my heart. It didn't.

The gas pedal was heavy and stubborn.

The brakes were vague and confidence sapping.

The seats were hard and flat.

I can see the argument for this vehicle from a visual perspective, but as far as things that I want to live with on a daily commute, I believe I'd rather have cholera.

Mercedes CLK430 grade: F

2010 Toyota Tundra

Hi, my name is Matt, and I drove a Tundra.

Here is where you respond with, "Hi, Matt" and we discuss why I'll never drive another Tundra again.

The 2010 full size Toyota pickup known as the Tundra is terrible.

Let me back up.

I can say nice things about this thing. I love the V8's power band. I love any Toyota truck's looks in white. Since those are the two things I like, I can now move forward to everything else.

The full size Tundra has a large interior swathed in inexpensive materials, which make sense in a truck that costs only $20,000. Being that this one was nearly $40,000 though, it was shocking. The seats are uncomfortable, the leg room constricting, and the plastics on the dash and door panels clearly share their origin with the blister packs your childhood GI Joe's came in. Ugh.

Then there's the brakes. Maybe the one I drove was the exception, and I'm willing to entertain that possibility. But not until my face peels off the windshield. Seriously, Toyota, brake pedals are not switches, they need more positions between off and locked up with all four tires smoking in the left lane of the freeway.

Luckily, I couldn't see the accidents I'd caused behind me. The visibility from the driver's seat is horrible. The hood, fenders and bed all slope away from view, and in a truck as big as a Tundra, you need to see corners for a point of reference when driving:

1. on the road

2. in a parking lot

3. off road

4. on planet earth

After driving a Tundra around for 45 minutes, I clambered out and handed the keys enthusiastically to the unfortunate owner. Then I climbed into a 2008 Ford F450 Crewcab Diesel Dually. All those letters and numbers add up to one very large vehicle, by the way. One big enough to tow 20,000 some odd pounds. Large enough to terrify Prius owners. I climbed into the rig and couldn't believe the difference. The interior was awesome (all controls and buttons were easily reached and made of fine materials), the controls smooth and controllable, and the corners visible. I drove the F450 back on the reverse route and was cleansed.

Toyota Tundra grade: F

Yesterday was good.

Yesterday I drove a 2007 Jaguar XJ and a Maserati Gran Sport. For a car geek like myself, this is not dissimilar to my buddy Justin Barksdale meeting Derek Jeter and Ichiro Suzuki. Essentially, I got to shake hands with greatness, but they were great in different ways.

By contrast, the two cars I drove yesterday couldn't be less alike. The Jag (my second 20 mile jaunt in an XJ in two days) was relaxed and comfortable. It was clearly designed to deliver me to my destination without drama. Yes, it accelerates quickly, and the car is capable of being sporty, but it always feels as though it's trying to run while wearing a three piece suit. 

The Maserati, on the other hand, wants to be driven as though one's hair is on fire. Yes, it has a semi-automatic transmission (the clutch is computer controlled, unlike automatic transmissions with paddle shifters), and yes the car weighs 3400 some odd pounds, but from behind the finely stitched leather wrapping the steering wheel, you can clearly sense the passion of its design. I climbed into the Maserati and drove it 300 feet to a stop sign, where I turned left and goosed the throttle. With no hesitation, the car ripped from idle to red line while screaming from the top of its Italian designed lungs and I grabbed second gear while holding the slide and preparing for lift off. Yes, you could argue that on paper the Maserati is all wrong, but in the moment, while tearing the fabric of the space time continuum, there is nowhere I'd rather be. The steering wheel is perfectly placed and weighted, the flappy paddles are exactly the correct distance from your fingertips when rocketing towards 60  miles per hour sideways, and the pedals are responsive to the point of telepathy. In essence, the car not only responds with immediacy to your every desire, it is designed in such a way that you become at one with its finely refined magnificence.

And here is where the two cars merge by comparison: refinement. Both the Maserati and Jaguar are immeasurably perfected. On paper they can be beaten by less expensive cars; whether measured by 0-60 times, lateral G's, or trinkets and baubles (neither car is class leading in available options). But unlike the BMW 745i, the Jaguar XJ replaces 400 seat adjustment options with 4. And those 4 options are perfect. The Nissan GTR has a finely tuned, computer controlled, and precision engineered AWD system that plants power to the ground with clinical efficiency, but the Maserati rockets forward with passionate immediacy delivered by only the smoke spewing rear tires. This is Smokey and the Bandit style smoke spewing rear tires. It brings childhood fantasies to life.

Yes, the Jag and Maserati seem to fall short to their competition by all measurable standards. But so does a well wrought beer like the Arrogant Bastard Ale when compared to Coors Light. It is in the experiencing of these refined products that one is reminded of their superiority.

Refinement, it seems, is worth the cost.

Maserati Grade: A+

Sometimes I feel bad for drawing a paycheck.

Today was one of those days when I truly enjoy my job. Not every day is like this; sometimes I need to deliver truly regrettable vehicles, and other times I don't get to drive at all. Today, though, was a good day.

Today I was asked to deliver a 2007 Jaguar XJ over 20 miles to a customer. Now, on a bad day at work, this length of delivery would entail a hateful vehicle such as a Prius or Grand Caravan that smells of body odor and pet dander. But on this very special day, I was asked to cruise in an automobile that was luxurious, fuel efficient, powerful and a thing of beauty.

One of the first things that I love about the 2007 Jaguar XJ is the interior. Most cars are available with leather seats, so when a leather interior is mentioned, it doesn't exactly conjure the image of opulent luxury that this Jaguar exudes. No, the Jaguar's cabin reclaims the majesty of leather. The dash, center console, door panels and of course seats are covered in cow hide of the highest quality. That which isn't covered in leather is wood or metal. Essentially, everything the driver touches has a feel of refinement. This car, then, is a joy from the moment one sinks into the supportive and comfortable seats.

Insert the key in the ignition and turn clockwise to experience my second favorite aspect of this vehicle: the silky smooth 4.2 liter DOHC V8. Yes, at only 300 horse power, it won't win street races against modern Dodge Chargers or Pontiac G8 GTs, but the power is sufficient enough to deliver 60 mph in only 6.2 seconds. For comparison, that's roughly the same amount of time that the 450 horse 1970 Chevelle SS needed to hit 60. The main difference lies in the way that power is delivered by the Jag's V8 versus the Chevelle's 454; never harsh or abrupt, and all while delivering over 20 mpg.

Once on the road, the transmission selects gears well and allows the driver to either relax and enjoy the scenery or reenact his favorite parts of the chase from Bullitt. The steering is slightly numb, but never light and always direct. I'd prefer more feedback when sawing at the wheel, but I can see how the average buyer will never voice concern over this flaw.

After 20 miles of freeway driving, I delivered the Jaguar to its owner and handed the keys over with a wisp of regret. I need to work harder and buy one.

Grade: A