Listeria Hysteria

Over the weekend I met a pregnant woman who will not eat lunch meat. She's no vegetarian, mind you, but is terrified of Listeria.

Listeriosis is a bacterial infection that kills some 260 Americans per year. If you are also afraid of becoming ill, consider that pet dogs kill roughly 20 people per year (not counting attacks by Pit Bulls) and that somewhere around 6,000,000 Americans are mentally handicapped. So, yes, you are thirteen times more likely to be killed by Listeria than the family golden retriever, but you are 23,000 times more likely to be retarded than you are to become a victim of Listeria.

Now excuse me, I'm going to lay flat on my stomach in a field (the best known deterrent) to keep from becoming one of the 58 people killed each year by lightning strike.