Wildfire

Oh the truth is finally revealed! I am so uncontrollably jealous of Greg's metrosexual weedeater that I can hardly stand it. The thought of having 70cc of pure power at the flick of my limp wrist is too much for my mortal mind to comprehend. Why God, did I spend the exact same amount of money for those extra 680cc?!?! SURELY! I will perish when I tuck into that turn at 110 and slide into a tree or an elderly woman in a Honda Fit. I must sell my suicide trap immediately and purchase something that could be mowed down unseen by a chump with a lifted truck that has never seen mud or a trail.

Alright sarcasm aside Greg's is jealous because his she-ped cannot go fast enough to kill him if he were to run it down a hill and into a tree. My bike on the other hand is the little brother of one of the original superbikes of the late 70's, the KZ1000. With that kind of pedigree pushing those tires down the road I'll be blissfully unaware that I have just hit a large stationary object and died. My remains will be scooped into a five gallon bucket and displayed for all to see and say "Dang, Masters went out in a blaze of glory and skidded up to the pearly gates in style, with a thousand scratches and not one unbroken bone."