Chumps wore the white hats, the cool guys dressed in black.

I drove three distinctly unique cars today, each in black. I love black cars. Bad guys drive black cars. Darth Vader wore only black. Burt Reynolds drove a black TransAm in Smokey and the Bandit, the only color befitting a movie whose plot honestly involved beer smuggling, peeling out, and making out with hot chicks.

But on to the cars I drove:

The Z4 M Roadster was triple black (roof, interior and exterior) with a 6 speed manual and one pissed off 3.2 liter DOHC in line 6 cylinder. To many of you, I just vomited numbers and words all over the front of your shirt in a nonsensical mess, so let me settle down a little. This tiny BMW is a 2 door convertible with a long hood and short rear deck. It is fundamentally a sports car, with all of the boxes checked; front engined, rear drive, simple, light, high revving and convertible.

Of all of the BMW's features, none stood out to me as clearly as that perfect, perfect shifter. I ripped through gears without conscious effort. I felt as though my hand was a part of the machine, as though I need merely acknowledge that a gear change was needed and *poof!* gear change performed. It was extraordinary on a level that not even the Honda S2000 (the former gear change king in my experience) could perform. I was smitten.

Moving down the list, I also drove a 2011 Challenger R/T with 6 speed manual. It was black on black (interior and exterior) with only 2000 miles on the clock. The reason I mention the mileage is that the gear change in this car, despite it's brutally over powering 5.7 liter V8 and melodious exhaust note, felt as though I were rowing a boat. Even in gear, the shifter moved side to side with enough motion that I often thought I was still in neutral. Absurd. I will not willfully drive another Challenger for this reason alone.

The final car of note today was a Black and Tan 2010 Imprezza. It was an automatic. Ugh. So, let's revisit: no turbo and no clutch. Sure, the car had all wheel drive, but so what? Terrible.

I love black cars. I love that the guys chasing Steve McQueen in Bullet drove a black Charger. I love that Blade drove a black Charger. I love that Vin Diesel drove a... hmmm... maybe I just love black Chargers. And Z4 Ms.

The paper theory: an apologetic.

I was driving an LR3 today in rush hour traffic on I405 when I was struck suddenly by a floating epiphany: though I was comfortable, cool and isolated from harshness and noise, I was completely bored by the Land Rover that I was piloting. On paper, this vehicle was fantastic, but from the driver's seat it was about as enticing as cauliflower.

And this is the heart of the theory: cars are not mathematical equations. When you attempt to formulate a vehicle into pro and con lists, pluses and minuses, or numeric values you take away the goodness and end up with a Saturn. If a car adds up on paper, it will be terrible. Conversely, the cars that make no sense, the ones in which any level of rational thought would prevent a person from turning the key in the ignition, are the good ones.

A Ferrari, any Ferrari, is loud, expensive, uncomfortable, impractical and inefficient. A real Jeep is small, noisy, harsh and slow. Motorcycles are dangerous, loud, impractical and did I mention dangerous? Yet each of those vehicles is far better than the sea of beige that sensible cars represent. A car that fails the paper test, the mathematical formula that some apparently apply to the purchase of a Civic or RAV4, will thrill you. It will ensnare your soul. A car that fails the paper test will mesmerize and seduce you.

And that's why I own such terrible cars, and why I believe you should too.

Depth of relationship requires compromise of self: the continuing saga of Scarlet

About 2 months ago I bought a terrible, terrible vehicle named Scarlet. Being 65 years old, my Willys sports a comparatively space aged 1965 Mustang 289 V8. This Willys has character in spades; she's a mean spirited banshee who's currently aiming to consume my very soul. And I love her with all my strength.

As in any relationship, the excitement of initial contact has long since faded into the reality of unpleasant odors and morning crankiness. Scarlet is still beautiful, her voice has become even more enticing thanks to a missing muffler, and with new shoes (33" BFG MTs) alongside a fresh hat (Edelbrock 4 barrel) she is, if anything, perhaps even more becoming. But this allure is now tempered with the reality of living together; every nut and bolt rattles loose while cruising at freeway speed, the windshield frame bounces when driving at any speed over 35mph in a manner that suggests eventual decapitation, and premium fuel (required by the staggeringly overbuilt 289) flows freely to the ground when sitting at most any angle.

Through all of this, though, I'm committed to working it out. I've already given her shoes and hat, now it's time to knuckle down and get the brakes just right (probably a disc swap) and swap in some power steering.

I'm excited to see where we go next, Scarlet and I. Well, excited and wincing from the bug I just caught in my eye while driving down I405.

Pusher Truck Tryouts

The Gadgetization of Cars Is Kind of Ruining Them [Gizmodo]

The antique Thunderbird parked outside on my street right now will run, approximately, forever. Unlike my Honda Civic Hybrid, which will be in the scrapheap before my baby daughter hits college. Why? Because the gadgetization of cars is ruining them. More »

What do you guys think?

Pusher Truck Tryouts

Sent with Reeder

-Gbarb18

July 16th

What a day was had today by the Pusher Truck crew.

We took a ferry to Bremerton from Seattle to look at a too dilapidated motorcycle, which we passed on, then fixed not one, but 2 cars and a boat. We worked on a 1968 C10 Chevy Pickup with swapped in 3/4 running gear too, but didn't get it running.

In the subtle greatness of projects, specifically automotive, we found elation, frustration, and finally satisfaction when we got a 1989 5.0 Mustang Convertible running, new shoes and carb on Scarlet (my beloved 1946 Willys), and even took a Mastercraft ski boat out of mothballs and heard it fire up.

Scarlet now idles at 900 rpm and has lost the eye-stinging raw fuel expulsion from the dual exhaust. Also, with slightly used 33" BFG mud terrains on all four corners, the Willys rolls down the road smoothly and with less noise.

Uncle Dan capped the evening off with the only reward befitting so successful a work crew: barbecued pork ribs with a teriyaki and sweet baby ray's bbq sauce glaze.

I'd grunt if I weren't so worn out.

Pusher Truck Tryouts

-Gbarb18

Hornet Vs. Coyote

Here in the greater Pacific Northwest, we have some clever ways to destroy once reliable modes of transportation. If your 4 cylinder econobox is running on fewer cylinders than before, if the transmission reminds you of a slip 'n' slide, or if you can't find a better way to spend a Friday or Saturday night then one of your options is low cost racing.

Hornet racing is the most popular form around here, with racing every Saturday night and a huge collective of fellow racers. The down side is price tag: $30 per person per night in the pits (driver included), Nascar Membership at $90, and so on. The safety equipment cost is similar between the two series, so I won't count that against Hornets, but if I want to race every week in Hornet classes, I will shell out $120 between myself and three pit crew members each week on entry fees alone.

Coyote racing is a lesser known series, but the entrance fee is free for people watching. I'm digging up information regarding pit pass cost, but it looks to be low if not free. The down side involves the truncated time table as compared with Hornets, considering it runs 13 nights a year as opposed to 52. The safety equipment seems to be more stringent, mandating a fuller roll cage and racing seat, but I won't call that a negative.

I've been looking to start racing on the cheap, and I've found Hornets and Coyotes to be the two best options thus far. Given the above information, I'm leaning toward Coyotes, but this Friday I'll be able to ask the drivers themselves at an actual Coyote race at Evergreen Speedway. I'll report back on my findings.

Top Gear Series 17 Episode 3

These are my thoughts while watching the worlds greatest show...

458 Vs. McLaren

Ferrari 458 Italia 

VS.

McLaren @#&^*^%

By looks alone I would take the 458 over the McLaren.


Since when did McLaren become a luxury car?


Yup, I'll take the Ferrari... You?






The New Rang Rover Evoque 


WHY??? What is the purpose?


Range Rover keeps making "off-road" vehicles that will never meet the dirt.


Those sand rails were amazing, I need one.

Why Scarlet is not a motorcycle, and thus should stay off motorcycle trails.

Andrew and I found a trail. It was a lovely day, we were in a roofless Scarlet, and Andrew is a Claussen. Some of you don't know this, but Claussens (all of them, regardless of age, gender or intellect) are entirely fearless and eternally cheerful. The possibilities were not only endless, but enticing.

We pointed the nose of Scarlet's lovely hood down the aforementioned trail and scooted right along. Understand that Scarlet doesn't do 'slow'. She is a bit frisky, being that idle in first gear would remind most people to check their speedometers in a school zone. Shooting down a trail that often narrowed to one tire track wide sent branches, leaves and logs flying at us through the door openings and roof area.

Quickly, we approached a tight downhill turn and discover the worst word when wheeling in such a tight trail with so much speed: Tree!

We promptly got stuck.

We cut down trees to free ourselves.

Andrew climbed a tree.

And now I'm in my living room sitting beside Greg. What a day.

The New Audi A4 2.0T

Cnet compares the new A4 to a 3 Series. 



What do you think about the A4?

Wisdom is lame when viewed through the lense of an adventure lost.

We were all saddled up last night, ready to buzz out to Ellensburg in Scarlet (my 1946 Willys CJ2A) for untold adventure. The excitement built as we walked around the little Jeep, tightening the straps holding the rifle, sleeping bags, and tools. Then Greg spotted the flat tire.

No problem, we'll just air it up and grab the full size spare, you know, just in case it's flat again in the morning and we're 20 miles from the nearest air compressor. So, the search was on for that elusive spare. It was nowhere to be seen.

At this point, we're closing in on midnight with a 2 hour drive ahead of us and there's no guarantee that the tire will survive the trip, let alone hold air in the morning. With regret, we left Scarlet behind and returned home to catch some sleep and jump onto the project in the morning.

So, here I am, rested but restless on a couch on a Saturday morning watching Pawn Stars, drinking good coffee, searching for a spare tire and wishing I was in Eastern Washington wheeling like a champ. Sure, my present location is not altogether unpleasant, but it's a big let down compared to my prior plans.

And the voice of wisdom is what brought me here. Stupid wisdom.

Pusher Truck Tryouts

  

-Gbarb18

The Ten Best Episodes of Top Gear [Blip]

The Ten Best Episodes of Top Gear [Blip]

Gizmodo

Yesterday we asked Jalopnik readers to come up with the best episode to use to convert the uninitiated, unwashed and unknowing masses into the cult of Top Gear. Here's their ten best choices. More »

Via "Gizmodo"

-Gbarb18

Weekend Adventure

Tonight after Matthew an I unchain ourselves from work for the weekend we will be embarking on an adventure.
We will be headed south in

scarlet

(Matt's Willys) towards some amazing 4x4 territory known as

Funny Rocks.

We will spend the weekend wheeling with one goal in mind: to meet up with the Jeep Jamboree.
Wish us luck in our adventure, and keep you your eyes on Pusher Truck for occasional updates.

Pusher Truck Tryouts

-Gbarb18

Nissan Leaf overshadows Chevy Volt in June sales

Nissan Leaf overshadows Chevy Volt in June sales

Technology News - CNET News

Nissan sold over 1,700 Leaf vehicles last month, while Chevrolet sold just 561 unit sales in the U.S.

Sent with Reeder

-Gbarb18

Pusher Truck Tryouts

This world speed record car went faster than a Space Shuttle [Blip]

This world speed record car went faster than a Space Shuttle [Blip]

Gizmodo

A heavily-modified street-legal Ford GT made history as the first car recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records for standing-mile speed at 223 mph. Even cooler: they did it on the runway used for landing Space Shuttles. [Jalopnik] More »

The 4th: America's Great Equalizer

Today, July 4th, will see barbecues fired up, burgers and dogs grilled in ranges from pink to charred, and families spending time genuinely enjoying each others company. Even here in Seattle, the sun is shining and the temperature is rising comfortably. We're celebrating our independence from a tyranical empire with the same general themes that we've embraced since our days as farmers and craftsmen; food, family and fun.

Of course, today we have a few improvements on the old formula. Our music is charged with over-driven guitars and bass, our families can travel formerly insurmountable distances to gather around patio furniture with cold drinks, and we have fire works. If you're reading this from a far off foreign country (Canada), let me explain what, exactly, I'm talking about.

Fire works come in two varieties; professional displays that light up the night sky in beautiful colors and patterns and the basic amateur fire works display that mostly involves several hundred dollars of loud and underwhelming pyrotechnics that are lit off by the unhinged uncle who someone once again entrusted with a lighter. Yes, the professional display is glorious and impressive, but ultimately boring and detached. The loose-cannon-uncle-display has a level of anxiety driven by the imminent danger of explosives being lit only yards away from 5 year-olds holding sparklers.

And here's the where we find the greatest improvement in our culture today campared with 230+ years ago; in the inevitable trip to the emergency room. You see, poorly planned and executed loose-cannon-uncle fire works shows usually end in at least one person visiting the emergency room of the local hospital. Usually it is a minor burn or cut, but sometimes the damage is more severe. Regardless, the modern E.R. attests to America's greatest advancement since we stopped paying taxes to Britland (hear that, Canada? We stopped paying taxes and thus earned independence); each race, creed, gender and religion is suffering alike in the emergency room every July 4th.

We are becoming a nation of acceptance, tolerance and equality. Sure, we have our problems, and we are far from perfect, but every American is equally encouraged to light a fist-sized explosive in the form of a mortar while bent over only inches away after consuming beer and under or over cooked beef. Regardless of background, it is the E.R. trip which proves that being a knuckle head is our great equalizer.

Now everybody back up, I'm going to light this one and I think it was leaking a little.